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There are two rules for success: 1.) Don’t tell all you know.

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.

In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If a man with no arms has a gun, is he armed?

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.

Jesus is coming, so look busy.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

Death to all fanatics! I’d like to have more self-esteem, but I don’t deserve it.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren’t sucked into jet engines.

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

For sale: parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

Some people have a way with words, others not have way.

I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I want patience – AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

Help Wanted: Telepath; you know where to apply.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Clairvoyants, meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Help stamp out, extinguish, eliminate, and abolish redundancy!

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.

Aseara am comandat de la Jerry’s o pizza Extravaganzza maaare cu doua sosuri picante. Dupa ce a ajuns (la timp), am platit-o, am dat si bacsisul de rigoare si am purces la masa. De fapt masa se desfasura in pat. Am mancat vre-o 3-4 felii si, cand sa iau o maslina, maslina a luat-o la fuga si s-a ascuns sub o alta felie.  Am aproape 100 kg, si le-am aruncat pe toate spre tavan, tipand ca o fata mare; un gandac sanatos dadea ture pe pizza mea.

M-am linistit, pentru un timp n-o sa mai comand junk food. Dar, intrebarea ramane: ce sa fac ? Sa-i reclam ? Si cum sa demonstrez ?

Definitiv, intai a fost oul. Demonstratia e simpla: oul poate sa fi suferit un mic accident genetic dar e cam improbabil ca o gaina vie sa pateasca acelasi lucru. Daca un bâtlan cu o vrabiuta fac dragoste, mix-ul genetic va fi un ou care ar putea descende intr-o gaina.

Si de aici urmatoarea problema: ce inseamna “un mare blogger” ? Poate cineva fara istorie, fara realizari personale sau profesionale impresionante sa fie considerat mare blogger ? Poate ca un scriitor ratat sau inca nerealizat poate fi considerat blogger. Dar un IT guy ?

Intai s-o stricat net-ul….

Tot respectul: au venit doi baieti, s-au chinuit vre-un ceas in genunchi sa repare modemul ascuns pe sub dulap si n-au vrut sa ia “de-o bere, ceva”. Nu frica de reguli i-a manat sa reziste tentatiei, n-am vazut vre-un regret in ochii lor si nici vre-o ezitare; refuzul a fost normal, categoric, si ghidat de mandrie.

Poate asa incepem sa ne civilizam, sa refuzam sa luam ce nu ni se cuvine. Poate, cu timpul, ne vom obisnui sa nu ne simtim vinovati daca nu “le lasam ceva”. Eu le recomand baietilor aia sa-si schimbe cariera, sa tina cursuri de normalitate la care sa participe toti medicii, si, mai ales, asistentele medicale.